Ok ... the other day I went down to that new GATHER GEAR store. I looked around the place. Looked at the stuff hanging on the racks, looked at the stuff on the shelves, heck I even sneaked a peek in the back room when the sales clerk wasn't looking ... not anything real interesting back there, just a couple elves working ... one was packing and addressing boxes while the other elf had a stencil and a can of Gather Glo™ orange spray paint and was busy tagging t-shirts with the gather logo.
... It took me a while to go through all the shirts and other stuff in the store, but I finally found a Mock-T that I really liked, they even had one of them in my size right there on the lower shelf. I went looking around for that sales clerk I saw when I came in, she was no where to be found, probably made a quick scan of store when I snuck into the back and thought I left and that the store was empty, so she ducked out and ran down the mall to the Starbucks for a jolt of caffeine or maybe over to Borders to grab a book, who knows, maybe she was over sitting on Santa's lap ...
Anyways, there's no clerk in sight to ring up the shirt, so I wander back into the back room, you know, where the elves are, and gave them a shout ... probably wasn't such a good idea to have just walked in and shouted "Hey, wazzup!" ... that scared the beejeezuz out of the little guys. The elf packing boxes fainted. The other one with the spray can must have jumped 10 feet in the air ... it was kind of funny ... now there's this Gather Glo™ orange streak straight up the back wall almost clear to the ceiling. But it's all good. The clerk ain't gonna say nothing 'cause well, she was off on that unscheduled break, and the assistant manager won't squawk 'cause he was AWOL half the afternoon hanging at the Orange Julius stand trying to make time with the new juice girl. I am pretty sure the elves won't talk. Seemed like they might be undocumented workers. I got the feeling they had slipped over the border from Canada. They said "eh!" a lot, and I noticed a pile of empty Molson cans under one of the tables ...
So after the one elf and I had a good laugh about his jumping and spraying and the big ol' Gather Glo™ orange streak he tagged on the wall, we revived the little fellow that fainted away. I told them I wanted to get that Mock-T shirt I had found way down on the lower shelf, but that I couldn't find the clerk anywhere. The jumpy elf looked at the shirt and said that what I should do first was let him stencil and paint some stuff on the shirt ... and maybe by the time he was finished painting the shirt that the clerk would be back to ring it up. The elf said he had some things he wanted to try with the shirt, things they didn't usually do. He was really excited about it, and it all sounded like a pretty good plan to me, so that's just what we did.
I left the Mock-T shirt with the elf in the back room, he was going to paint up the Mock-T shirt real fancy, and in the mean time, I would go finish my other errands and then come back. Well, when I got back, the clerk was back too, and the elves were back, they were all the way back in the back room stenciling shirts and other stuff and packing it up to ship off. The clerk took the Mock-T shirt and swiped it over the scanner and the price rang up on the cash register, but then she picked up a piece of paper that was laying next to the shirt and started keying in all these codes. There was a code for the gather logo on the front of the shirt, then there was more codes for each of the lines of printing on the back of the shirt, and finally she keyed in even another code for painting my Gather namespace on the sleeve of the Mock-T shirt, and then ...
Yes, then the clerk pressed the total button on the cash register. Oh my gosh! The cash register started grunting and grinding and making all kinds of terrible sounds as it began to shudder and shake and jump all around on the counter ... then, just as the clerk and I were about to dive for cover because we thought for sure the cash register was going to explode ... there was a tiny, short and crisp, little ding that came from the cash register's bell, and then the cash register spewed out a paper tape out the top of the machine that flew across the whole width of the GATHER GEAR store and then some! On the paper cash register tape was printed the base price for the Mock-T shirt, and then the price for the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on the front of the shirt and then the cash register just kept on printing away on the paper tape, printing a line and a price on the tape for each line that had been printed on the back of the Mock-T shirt, and finally it added onto the cash register tape the price for my Gather namespace that was printed on the sleeves of the Mock-T shirt.
Well, I looked at the sales clerk. Then I looked at the divinely decorated Mock-T shirt and the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on its front, and looked back at the sales clerk. I took another glance at the hopefully soon to be mine Mock-T shirt and then ... swallowing hard, looked down at the paper cash register tape that the sales clerk had carefully folded so that it no longer stretched across the whole width of the GATHER GEAR store and maybe then some, I looked down where the paper tape lay folded in the clerk's' hand and read the total for my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on the front and all the lines of printing on the back, and of course my Gather namespace on the sleeves ... and I wept.
The sales clerk looked up into my tearing eyes and said, "I did include a special Coupon Code: GATHERGEARHOLIDAYPROMO that people who order online can use to get 20% off their whole order if they place their order before December 12th 2008, and since you are in the store in person and not ordering online there is no charge for shipping because you can take it with you in one of our nice GATHER GEAR store printed plastic shopping bags, but ... you do have to pay sales tax!"
Again I looked longingly at the divinely decorated Mock-T shirt. I admired the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on the front, then reread all the lines of printing on the back, and of course my Gather namespace on the sleeve, and looked back at the sales clerk. I then dug deeply into the pockets of my pants, all the way to the very bottom amongst the little lint bunnies that collect in the bottom-most seam, and pulled out all of my PointyThingies™ and layed them carefully on the counter. The sales clerk seemed somewhat disappointed that I would not be paying by PayPal, but she began stacking and counting all of my PointyThingies™ as I continued to search each and every pocket for every last PointyThingie™ I could find. After stacking and counting the very last of the PointyThingies™ I had placed on the counter, the sales clerk look at me, this time she had tears welling up in her eyes. She just knew how much I wanted to take home the divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on the front and lines of printing on the back and even my very own Gather namespace on the sleeves ... but there just were not enough of the PointyThingies™ to pay for the Mock-T shirt and all the printing and the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo, even with no shipping charges and the 20% off online coupon, not to mention the sales tax the governor was going to want ... no, there just wasn't enough PointyThingies™.
The sales clerk said she would hold my my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo on the front and the lines of printing on the back, plus my Gather namespace on the sleeve until December 12th. That is today, and today is my last chance to take home my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt or else I will have to find 20% more of those PointyThingies™ to pay for my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo spray painted on the front and all of the lines of printing on the back, plus of course my very own Gather namespace neatly stenciled on the sleeves.
I don't think Secret Santa will help me with this, so I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, some of you had a few spare PointyThingies™ in your pockets, or purses, maybe just laying around the house or under the sofa cushions that you could give me so I can get my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo sprayed on the front and all the lines of printing on the back and even my very own Gather namespace painted on the sleeves out of hock???
Yep, right up above! That's my divinely decorated Mock-T shirt with the GatherGlo™ orange Gather logo spray painted on the front and all of the lines of printing on the back, plus of course my very own Gather namespace neatly stenciled on the sleeves! I sure hope I get to finally take it home ...Cheers! and Happy Holidays to everyone!!! (-;[>
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