Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I Searched the World Over and Thought I Found True Love ... TTTHHHhhhbbbpppT! ... But, You Spammed Another and !Poof! You Was Gone!!!

I Searched the World Over and Thought I Found True Love ...
... But, You Spammed Another and !Poof! You Was Gone!!!

Dear Miss Eden,
I was so very excited upon finding your love letter in my email ... I thought it had finally happened to me, that we were about to embark on a precious internet romance just like those other couples, you know, the ones pictured in the ads for all those internet dating sites ... that soon we would posting our picture and success story about finding true love, our long sought after soulmate, and finding each other on the lonely internet.

From:misseden iconeden mkeden (misseden)
© MrBill (mrbill)
Sent:Jan 04 2009, 06:47 PM EST
Message:My Dearest,
My name is Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa. i am a female I was impressed when i saw your profile and will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me ( .This is because i don't know the possibilities of remaining in forum for a long time. please If you are interested in knowing more about me and for me to send you some pictures of mine,
Thanks waiting to hear from you .
With love,
Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa

But even before I could reply. Before I could tell you how wonderful it was that you searched, searched high and low, searched far and wide, searched the whole dang internet just so you could find me, and tell me just how much you were impressed by my profile, and that you wanted to have a long lasting forever and ever relationship with someone just like me ... I discovered that you are ...

a trollop !

a tart !!

a tease !!!

I was not your one & only! I was not your true love!! I would never be your soulmate ... I could never be those things to a two-timing four-flushing booting-licking wench that had not only emailed me her can of love spam, but had pasted the same love letter all over this online community and perhaps all over the entire interenet! You pasted it in comments. You pasted it in pings. I am sure that you pasted it in emails you sent to other guys too! For Pete's sake! you even pasted it to other women!!! (well, that part might be a little bit intriguing ...)

Well Miss Eden, the answer is !!!NO!!!

NO! I won't email a yaahoo like you!

NO! I'm not interested in a relationship, of any length, with you!

NO! I don't want you to send me any photos of you! ... umm, wait ... what kind of photos? What are you wearing in the photos?? What aren't you wearing in the photos??? OH never mind! Don't send me any dang photos!!!

Go back to the garden Miss Eden!
I seriously doubt you are Eve.
Actually, I think you're probably a snake!!!

P.S. If you happen to have been left $30 million dollars by your dearly departed husband, and your riches are now stuck in some Nigerian bank account and you need help transferring the cash ... please have your bank send a wire transfer to my numbered account in Strahan Liechtenstein and I will add you to the long list of widows and orphans who I am currently helping launder their money.

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