I Searched the World Over and Thought I Found True Love ... TTTHHHhhhbbbpppT! ... But, You Spammed Another and !Poof! You Was Gone!!!

I Searched the World Over and Thought I Found True Love ...
TTTHHHhhhbbbpppT!
... But, You Spammed Another and !Poof! You Was Gone!!!

Dear Miss Eden,
I was so very excited upon finding your love letter in my email ... I thought it had finally happened to me, that we were about to embark on a precious internet romance just like those other couples, you know, the ones pictured in the ads for all those internet dating sites ... that soon we would posting our picture and success story about finding true love, our long sought after soulmate, and finding each other on the lonely internet.

From:	eden mkeden (misseden)
To:	© MrBill (mrbill)
Subject:	missedenmk@ymail.com
Sent:	Jan 04 2009, 06:47 PM EST
Message:	My Dearest, My name is Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa. i am a female I was impressed when i saw your profile and will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me (missedenmk@ymail.com) .This is because i don't know the possibilities of remaining in forum for a long time. please If you are interested in knowing more about me and for me to send you some pictures of mine, Thanks waiting to hear from you . With love, Miss Eden Majzoub al-Khalifa

But even before I could reply. Before I could tell you how wonderful it was that you searched, searched high and low, searched far and wide, searched the whole dang internet just so you could find me, and tell me just how much you were impressed by my profile, and that you wanted to have a long lasting forever and ever relationship with someone just like me ... I discovered that you are ...

a trollop !

a tart !!

a tease !!!

I was not your one & only! I was not your true love!! I would never be your soulmate ... I could never be those things to a two-timing four-flushing booting-licking wench that had not only emailed me her can of love spam, but had pasted the same love letter all over this online community and perhaps all over the entire interenet! You pasted it in comments. You pasted it in pings. I am sure that you pasted it in emails you sent to other guys too! For Pete's sake! you even pasted it to other women!!! (well, that part might be a little bit intriguing ...)

Well Miss Eden, the answer is !!!NO!!!

NO! I won't email a yaahoo like you!

NO! I'm not interested in a relationship, of any length, with you!

NO! I don't want you to send me any photos of you! ... umm, wait ... what kind of photos? What are you wearing in the photos?? What aren't you wearing in the photos??? OH never mind! Don't send me any dang photos!!!

Go back to the garden Miss Eden!
I seriously doubt you are Eve.
Actually, I think you're probably a snake!!!

P.S. If you happen to have been left $30 million dollars by your dearly departed husband, and your riches are now stuck in some Nigerian bank account and you need help transferring the cash ... please have your bank send a wire transfer to my numbered account in Strahan Liechtenstein and I will add you to the long list of widows and orphans who I am currently helping launder their money.

DVD Dispenser - 3rd and Final Act

By now, many of you are well aware of my recent fascination with a particular machine ... the infamous DVD Dispenser! This will be the third and final act of this play.

For those that snuck in after the lights came down and curtain went up, the infamous DVD Dispenser is a pop machine sized automated DVD movie rental venue located in my local Safeway supermarket by the DVD Play company. I have thoroughly enjoyed the slick operation and convenience of said dispenser.

However, today I had to face the music, along with a new and less than pleasant transaction with the DVD Dispenser. I do accept full responsiblity for the actions that predisposed me to the unenjoyable interaction with my beloved DVD Dispenser. I had previously rented two movies. The movie rental period is until midnight the following day. I watched only one of the movies the night that I rented them. I watched the second movie early the next evening, fully intending to hop in the truck, drive to town, and return the movies well before midnight.

The Road to Bali (and to Rome and Rio and ...) was paved with all kinds of good intentions. As some may know, it was colder than a ...well you know... here last night. So I stayed in my sweater and warmth of my loft in front of the roaring fire ... instead of venturing out into the frigid night to return movies, and instead wrote an article about Stock Show Weather. By my missing the pumpkin hour, when I arrived this afternoon to slip the DVD cases in their automated home, I incurred the bane of movie renters everywhere -- the dreaded late charge!

Unlike other movie rental venues, the DVD Dispenser is utterly non-discriminatory and it's clock is rather reliable, and I know that I am late returning these movies. I know I deserve the late charge and with bowed head and red face accept my punishment (sir, may I have another). But I also know that on time returns have been properly credited and future returns will be logged in promptly. Not like Blockbuster or the local video library, where oftentimes the pre-occupied teenage clerks are too busy dissin' friends, parents and teachers or playing grab-ass to check-in the movies correctly. Too many has been the time that at other rental shops I have sauntered up to the counter to rent a flick only to be asked, "are you ever gonna return such and such movie?" HUH!?!?! brought that back a week ago! Further queries to their database reveals that the movie is still checked out to me, but it was also rented to Dick & Jane last night... Anyways, slick delivery and prompt returns gets the Academy's nod for the DVD Dispenser! Plus the DVD Dispenser doesn't call it "late charge" it prefers the kinder gentler term "Extra Night's Rental".

Epilogue:

Movie rental - $1.00
Extra Night rental - $0.99
Getting to stay home in the warmth of the fire = Priceless!

Morale of the story - Best to brave the bitter cold and darkness of night if you want to avoid the Extra Night Rental Fee boondoggle!

Follow Up: DVD Dispenser

I returned my videos today to the DVD Dispenser (the fantastic new machine I found, and told you about, yesterday at the grocery store). It was about the same as returns at other rental venues, just slip the movie in the return slot. However, the slot on the DVD Dispenser is a lot smaller ... just large enough for the disk case. It's not like the mail slots at most places, but then the DVD Dispenser is only about the size of a pop machine. So you have to slip it in with a modicum of care and make sure the barcode is face up. I didn't want to tempt fate and slip it in upside down to find out if the DVD Dispenser would spit it back out. Since no one's paying me to does this, it's just personal research, I did not want to risk it swallowing the disk wrong-side-up and not crediting me for returning the movie!

I was slightly disappointed upon arriving back home and finding no email message for the return of the movies, but oh well. I did rent two more movies and tried using the same 2-4-1 promo code as my first rental. It flashed a message stating that was an unknown/invalid code. I canceled the order and started over, selecting the same two movies and used the same promo code, but this time switched to a different bank card...BINGO! So apparently I will be able to get 1st time 2-4-1 rentals until I have run through all my different debit/credit cards. Nice bonus, but I only have so many cards and will eventually have to pay the $1.00/movie. Which around here is still a really good deal for movie rentals. I think selection will always be limited to newer releases because of the size of the machine, but that too is ok. It's convenient to pickup a movie while grocery shopping, and this is a innovative way to provide at least new releases, in a slick easy to use process. ALL THUMBS UP!

Here's a link to the vendor's website if you want more information or to see the machine, and there is a "location" tab to find out if there is a DVD Dispenser in your neighborhood - DVD Play

DVD Dispenser

I went grocery shopping this afternoon at our local Safeway store. Vegies, milk, cheese, and a nice tuna filet for dinner. Just the usual kind of stuff. On the way out I noticed a new "machine" next to the customer service counter.

Along with the ATM, lotto tickets, movie tickets (this one is new for this store but have seen them around), and the machine that turns your mason jar full of pennies into folding money, was this new machine - DVD Dispenser!

Ok, I'm sure lots of you use Netflix or Blockbuster's similar dvd-by-mail delivery systems, but some of us (well me anyway) have to really "go get the mail" ... go get it at the post office, because the mailman don't ring twice in our neighborhood! Which means the Netflix or Blockbuster in-the-mail thing just doesn't work out all that well.

Back in Colorado most of the big chain supermarkets have very large video rental departments, plus there was a Blockbuster or similar video rental joint on every corner that isn't occupied by Starbucks. But here in Tahoe it's a different story. The supermarkets don't rent videos, they do have a few for sale but they are older flicks and cost about double what Wally World charges. There is a Blockbuster in town and two other local video shops, but the selection is limited and it runs about the standard $5.00 a movie to rent, and if you are a couple days late ... well you would have been better off to just have bought the movie!

But now I can get at least new releases right at Safeway! No waiting for a clerk to find a disk for you, just touch screen your selections, swipe your credit card, and a moment later your selections slide out the slot below the screen and you're on your way. And the price is right! The DVD Dispenser rents new release movies for just $1.00+tax, plus I got a promo code that made it 2-4-1 so I rented two movies. The DVD Dispenser is kind of like a jukebox for movie rentals.

P.S. I got a new bag beans for the coffee grinder so maybe I won't get quite as wired tomorrow.

Five Things I Love About ... the Mountains

Five Things I Love About ... the Mountains:

I love living in the mountains. I have always lived in the mountains; or at least in their foothills when I lived on the Front Range in Denver and Fort Collins. I could always see the mountains, even then.

I love the fresh air in the mountains. The mountian air is always charged with purifying negative ions; from the winds swooping down the valleys and crashing against the granite peaks; from thunder and lightning that flashes and booms from the afternoon's gathering clouds even without ever raining. It is clean, crisp, fresh and yes, very thin; and for some people it is almost impossible to breathe the mountain air.

I love the unpredictable, even confounding, weather of the mountains. I have been snowed on every month of the year in the mountains. At one time or another I have been snowed-in at least once in every month of the year except for July. I am sure if I continue to live in the mountains, that some day, in some future July, I will get snowed-in. I have seen it snowing, yet there be not a cloud in the sky; and I have seen it rain, then hail, then snow, and then the clouds break into brilliant sunshine all in a matter of a few passing moments.

I love the fresh, clean and clear, sparkling crystal water that runs swifty down the steep walled canyons that crease the mountains. The mountain water is cold; so cold it numbs your lips when you bend down and touch them to a stream in hopes of slaking your thirst on a hike. In those frigid waters live the most beautiful and succulent trout of all, the cutthroat, with a blood scarlet chevron painted just under their maw. If you are skillful enough, or lucky enough, to trick one into biting the fly you have carefully tied to the thinnest of line, they will try their damnedest to pull you in the icy waters with them.

I love the forests and woodlands that blanket the slopes of the mountains. Forests filled with pine and spruce and fir, ever green throughout the year. I love the meadows, filled with wildflowers, they are the landings of the mountain staircase as it climbs to the sky. Places where the streams slow and meander with thickets of willows in the crooks of their bends. I love the gentle slopes covered in glades of aspen, always quaking in even the slightest breeze. The forests shelter the animals - bears, coyotes, wolves, the deer and elk, beavers that dam the streams along with otters who slide on their bellies into the pools and eddies. And on the rocky crags above mountain goats and sheep, rams with twist and a half horns teetering on precipices looking over their realm.

And I love this song ...

"O beautiful for spaceous skies, for amber waves of grain. For purple mountains majesty, above the fruited plain..."

Katharine Lee Bates poem, later set to music, came together while she was atop one of Colorado's most famous 14'ers - Pikes Peak - on the 4th of July.

Note: There are 54 peaks over 14,000 ft high in Colorado, 70% of the land mass above 10,000 ft in the continental U.S. is in Colorado, making it the highest average altitude state in the union.

Yes, I do love my mountains.

This is written for a friend and her Five Things Group give the group a peak..er..peek.

!!! Free Celestial Show !!! -- Quadrantid Meteor Shower Tonight!!!

If you missed or could not see the Celestial Show on New Year's Eve, you have a second chance to witness one of Mother Nature's spectacular sky events!

Tonight, or more correctly at about 3:00 AM EST Saturday morning, there is a chance for glimpsing some falling stars in a spectacular display by the Quadrantid Meteor Shower! With the moon a mere sliver, the sky should be quite dark and show off the meteors very well. So if you are out late Friday night, or up early Saturday morning don't miss this chance to start off the new year by making a big wish on a falling star!

You don't need for tickets to this celestial event, but the best viewing location is with a clear view of the southwestern horizon without buildings, trees or mountains, and as far away from city lights as possible.

On New Year's Eve there was a Lunar Alignment with three planets - Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter. This display of planets and the moon occurred on the southwest horizon just after sunset. The Moon rises a little later each night and now is quite far above the horizon at sunset. I was still able to see Venus Thursday night, but both it and the Mercury-Jupiter pairing were obscured by clouds at sunset. You might still be able to glimpse the pair just above the southwest horizon a little after sunset tonight. Mercury and Jupiter will be the brightest objects in that part of the sky.

Venus is the planet that shines brighter any of the other planets and brighter than most stars (what we call the Morning or Evening Star is actually Venus depending on whether it is shining in the eastern or western half of the sky). Venus will dangle just below the thin crescent moon in the southern sky. It'll be visible and almost impossible to miss just as the sun goes down if the skies are cloud-free in your area.

Just after sunset Mercury and Jupiter can be seen hugging the southwestern horizon (just above where the sun went down) and will be right next to each other. Jupiter is very bright and easy to spot, Mercury is fainter and more difficult to see, but it'll be just to the left of Jupiter. Jupiter and Mercury will set less than an hour after the sun sets, and you will need to time your viewing for just after sunset.

What a great way to begin the new year with these celestial events!

Update:
Click here or on the thumbnail to view
the photo I took New Year's Eve
of the Crescent Moon Over Venus.

Almost Like Stock Show Weather...

Almost Like Stock Show Weather...

Tonight is our first sub-zero night this winter here in Tahoe. It is 4 below outside and 60 inside. I have opted for a sweater instead of cranking up the fire. This will be my fifth Tahoe winter, and I have been enjoying them for the most part, except for shoveling the Sierra Cement as the snow here is known. Tahoe winters are ... well ... almost balmy and tropical! Coming from the Rockies where a -4 night is common, I could probably count on both hands the sub-zero nights of the past four winters in Tahoe. However, these nights of negative numbers bring back memories of this time of year in Colorado and the yearly fortnight stretch of successive way-below-zero temperatures known as Stock Show Weather.

Stock Show weather??? Yes, Stock Show weather. Mid January is when Denver hosts the National Western Stock Show. The National Western Stock Show is a 103-year-old two-week affair of stock shows & auctions, equestrian shows, rodeos, and western galas celebrating ranching and the western lifestyle. Coinciding with this yearly extravaganza is the Arctic Express cold front that flies down from the arctic circle of northern Alaska and Canada that plunges overnight temperatures into the 30's ... below zero that is. It is not unknown for some of the high mountain areas, such as Gunnison or the Frazier Valley between Granby and Winter Park, to dive to 45-50 below during this time, giving credence to their bid for the coldest towns in the contiguous 48 states.

Do I miss the -30 nights and daytime highs of ten below? No, not really, but I do remember gathering with friends around the fire, guests camping out on the living room floor because their cars would not start, letting the faucets drip so the pipes would not freeze and burst, and the jubilation on the day that the high finally crept back over zero.

I salute Stock Show Weather from my now balmy realm of only four below!

National Western Stock Show