If I Were A Book

Another "getting-to-know-you" theme from that crazy lady Miz Frantastic - If you were a book, what would your title be?

You know how this sort of thing works: If you're reading this, consider yourself TAGGED. Post your own book following Frantastic's formula: If you were a book, what would your title be and what would be the titles of each chapter?

Be sure to stop over at Miz Frantastic's and read her post!

Rocky Mountain High -or- Tripping With MrBill

Section One -- The Early Years

Chapter 1 - Breach Birth ... Life has been Sideways Ever Since
Chapter 2 - Clothes - Who Needs 'em!
Chapter 3 - Friends ... They always want to play with your favourite truck
Chapter 4 - School Days (Why are all the other kids slow learners?)
Chapter 5 - The "Green Bench" (Why you don't ask "Why the other kids are slow")
Chatper 6 - Driving School (No more chauffeuring your Grandpa in his Caddy, You're only 8!)

Section Two -- Tweens and Teens (My Parents Barely Escaped the Mental Ward)

Chapter 7 - Cigars, Poker & Cocktails - more Time Spent with my Grandparents
Chapter 8 - Voice, Hair in Strange Places & Other Changes
Chapter 9 - Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts ... forget it! I want to be a Girl Scout!
Chapter 10 - Sex Ed -or- Having a Best Friend with an Older Sister ...
Chapter 11 - Moon Shot & the Secret Service Can't Catch Me!
Chapter 12 - The Vice Principle is an Asshole, so I Decked Him!
Chapter 13 - Jazz Band and My New Girlfriend Mary Jane
Chapter 14 - Graduation (Whaddaya mean we're suppose wear clothes under the gown?)

Section Three -- Old Enough to Vote a.k.a Old Enough to Drink

Chapter 15 - College - I Thought Lectures & Labs were Optional
Chapter 16 - Co-Ed Dorms ... the Best Part of Higher Education
Chapter 17 - First Job, First Paycheck, First Reality Check
Chapter 18 - "Honey, We Should Get Married" ... Does this Mean You're Pregnant?!?!?
Chapter 19 - What's Yours Is Mine & What's Mine Is Mine ... the Lawyers Get the Rest

Section Four -- Old Enough to Know Better - Young Enough to Do It All Again

Chapter 20 - Single Again ... and Loving It!
Chapter 21 - Changing Lanes Changing Careers - Advent of the Internet Super Highway
Chapter 22 - Hooking Up Online - Adventures & Misadventures in Internet Dating
Chapter 23 - Dot.BOMB! - 2001 and More Career Changes
Chapter 24 - Sick Twisted & Wrong - Meeting GinGirl and ScotchBoy
Chapter 25 - ¿Where the Heck are You? - the Journey Begins
Chapter 26 - Wandering and Pondering - the Journey Continues
Chapter 27 - Lost In Space - the Journey Reaches New Heights
Chapter 28 - Life's Been Good To Me (The Joe Walsh Years)

Section Five - The End

Chapter 29 - Valhalla, 77 Virgins, and the Happy Hunting Grounds
Chapter 30 - My Obit (you'll have to wait for this chapter!)
Chapter 31 - There is no 31st Chapter 'cuz you can't trust anyone after 30!